Shards from the past

Shards from the past | What I expect in any kind of relationship…

If we are friends, then I expect you to tell me what's on your mind, I expect you to tell me when I hurt you, I expect you to tell me when I'm doing something wrong, I expect you to tell me if I've offended you, basically, I expect you to verbally say it out loud if and when I'm completely ignorant about what's going on.

Now people can interpret this in so many ways and some would say that friendship is about understanding each other and being able to read each other's minds and all those stuff and yeah, I agree, it is. But at the same time, we are humans, we all are, none of us are mind readers and when we all get caught up in the hassle of the daily life, occasionally we tend to slip up, we tend to forget, we tend to be unaware of what's going on around us and none of this happens with any intention of hurting your friend and ignoring them or trying to get anyone's attention or anything of that sort; no, it's because it's in our nature. End of the day, we are humans and we all tend to err.

That's why we have friends, family, siblings, partners and the list goes on; so that they can help us build better relationships and become better sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, etc.

Obviously by this I don't mean that now all of us go out and start pointing every small flaw in each other. But what I mean is that there are situations when you are with someone you love, you end up behaving or saying something unintentionally that hurts the other individual's emotions and you never realise that. And you are going to keep saying that particular thing or behaving in that particular manner and it's going to keep inflicting pain upon the other person until it reaches a point where the bond gets strained. But if you take a step back and the other person just takes a second and asks you to not do that because it's hurting their sentiments or offending them; then that's it, you accept it, because none of us have the right to say that we did not hurt anyone because if someone is hurt then they are hurt; and then you apologise and you remember not to say or do that again.

It's simple as that. But people make it so complicated; they see it as the other person finding flaws in you; they see it as the other person trying to change you; they just completely misunderstand the entire situation and things blow out of proportion and chances are you end up fighting.

But that's the thing; this is a two way relationship, if you find something about my behaviour and mannerisms that's displeasing you, so can I, and it's all about being loud and clear so that any kind of bitterness, regardless of how small it is doesn't build up in your heart. Thus, you should always be open to criticism in a relationship.

Bonds should work in this manner because this how you build each other up, this is how you make each other better human beings, this is how you develop a better understanding of each other and it improves the communication between you and the other person, because truth be told, at the end of the day, none of us are mind readers; we don't know how or what the other processes things and vice versa.

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